Better half arrives!

Jaanvasam  - Engagement

The courtship period from engagement to wedding is different and memorable. Those days it kept the STD booths active, long weekends meant a Chennai Express trip, cards (Satyam and Archies were favourites) and mail exchanges in the pre-internet era,  fitness drives, the first experience of shopping for the wedding and a heightened level of attention on all fronts! It was a period where surprises were the order of the day. Every rendezvous strained the grey cells! The more the merrier! And then there were these 10 commandments from the more experienced seniors and friends that we were inducted to as men engaged to tie the knot. I am not able to recollect all and have not been able to retrieve from my records. But it ran something like this

Oonjal (Swing) ritual

1. There is something called Fogic (Female-Logic) which you just experience and never try to understand. 

2. No woman is happy unless she's unhappy

3. The first difference to expect will be over the speed of fan (or the AC's temp setting)

4. When in laws are in you are an outlaw

5. The first person you should notice in a room should be your wife

6. And the second thing you should notice is what all she's wearing

7. Whether asked or not your only view on the attire is it wonderful and the right choice/ combo.

Kanyadhan - us and parents

8. If you are talking a bit longer to any woman - there must a past  you will be quizzed on..

and so on. These are not the exact lines but these 10 commandments were standard stock chatter in the parties preparing for the Dday!

Jan 19 Mouli, Jan 26 Kartik and Feb 5 me challenged travel plans for all to attend the weddings. A string of review of branch, regions etc. got held at Chennai for the month that made many from the work circle attend the weddings - small things that feel great. The weddings themselves were classical Madrasi weddings running over 2 days - Jaanavasam (Baraat), Nischayadartam (formal engagement), Kashi Yatra, Oonjal (swing), Muhurtam, Nalangu, Reception, Grihapravesham... The list was long and I remember I had just reconciled to saying I am an actor, entertainer etc. and left it to parents and others to choreograph and it greatly helped in enjoying the eve. Honeymooned in Goa - Feb is great weather and Goa was pristine then. The mobility with scooters you get in Goa, the ferry rides and fun loving people made it a great choice. 

@ Fort Aguada Goa

I had to move out of Dreamland and as luck would have it a friend at Ogilvy was moving to US and the I got introduced to the land lord Mr. D Sa moved into  'Madonna' a flat next to UDCT. It was a society of the old boys of Don Bosco school, small but nice society with DSouzas as neighbours.  As Vidya had to move out of Chennai to Mumbai, the date had to be auspicious. She moved in April. While I was apprehensive if she will like the hustle bustle of Bombay, she took to it like fish to water and soon started enjoying the sheer pace, variety and freedom the city gave. My Parents had also come over and that helped us settle at home soon. I discovered that my parents also quite felt at home in Wadala and had their own outings and discovery of Mumbai and soon my Dad would let me know the various buses to take, places to eat and street food to enjoy. 

@ Madonna with Vidya and parents

Vidya joined back at Business line and fortunately both our offices were at Nariman point. I left early at 8, while her work started after 11 and finished around 7. Just a walk to King circle for a bus or wadala for train to VT eased commute. South Bombay (SoBo now) has always been full of options for entertainment weekdays or weekends. We had a string of receptions at colleagues and friends residences which are memorable and life was like an extended family . 

@ Ho Chi Minh city

The company had this simple unstated policy - for posting abroad which extended to travelling abroad, you had to be married. So though I had started looking into exports, my first overseas tour was to Vietnam in may. What a place and experience. Flying into Vietnam I had a UN official sitting next to me in flight and he saw me asking for vegetarian food in flight which finally the crew understood and gave me an apple. He asked me how am I alive being a vegetarian. I couln't resist so I asked him which is the biggest animal he has seen on land and he said an Elephant - it silenced him. Vietnam was just coming out of reform but this foreign trip was full of unforgettable experiences - selling using translators, visiting a mariamman temple, ciclo rides, seaweed soup in a veg buddhist restaurant, Indian food at a mosque, green tea, pirated cds, sea of yamaha scooters, markets run by women... Years of war had made women manage home and business. In many a shop if you ask the man sitting in front, he would call his wife and when they see you speak English the children will be called to interpret...I first visited in May and followed up in Nov.

Vintage@ Sangam Studio

Back home festivals meant the house had to come alive especially the first year of marriage when parents took the responsibility to ensure the benchmark was set. We also a lot of visitors aunts, uncles from both sides, cousins and Raji attai. On one of the weekends we decided to go to a studio and take vintage style portaits and ambled into Sangam studio at King's circle got it done. Surprisingly I see the studio is still there even today. King circle (Maheshwari Udyan) and Matunga is a nice neighbourhood especially for a South Indian - thought it was changing with Madarasis shifting to Chembur. Astika Samaj, Anand Bhavan, Mysore Cafe, Ram Nayaks and the entire variety of South India specialties, Aurora for Tamil films made it a mini-Madras.

The year ended differently. We had the New year get together at home on 30th and on for New year's eve, instead of the normal party hopping, decided to usher it in quietly - started walking, got to king circle, saw the bus we take to work, got in reached VT, started walking soaking New year eve, crossing New Excelsior we got into seeing DDLJ, and got back enjoying the celebrations across the city- probably the only time I have spent in a movie hall for new year but is one of the most memorable new year that arrived.